Setting: 5th century Greece, BCE. The CSI unit has just discovered the dead body of Logictus Maximus floating in the Fiume Palistro river outside of Elea.
Pythagoras: My god! Who would have done such a thing to poor Logictus?
Xenophanes: Surely God has nothing to do with this my simple man; God does not commit such immoral acts.
Heraclitus: The only constant is change.
Xenophanes: Oh do be quiet Heraclitus.
Pythagoras: Maybe if we search long enough, we can find his soul in a new body and it can tells us who killed him!
Innocent Bystander: Detectives, I saw Obvious Killerious shoot him with an arrow!
Parmenides: Nonsense. Whatever you do, do not be guided by your dull eyes. Test all things with the power of your thinking alone.
Innocent Bystander: But, I saw it clear as day! Logictus was just sitting in the agora and Obvious pulled out a bow and…
Parmenides: All sense perceptions yield but illusions. We must consult logic.
Heraclitus: It is not possible to step into the same rivers.
Xenophanes: For the love of…
Pythagoras: Gents, if we calculate the speed of the current of the river we can determine at what time his body was cast in the river and…
Parmenides: Let us assume that the arrow has true being. Then there would be no rest, hence no position for the arrow, hence no space-which is impossible to conceive. Let us assume that time is real. Then it could not be infinitely divisible…
Innocent Bystander: But surely I tell you that I SAW IT HAPPEN! Oh wait…he’s coming back. He’s about to shoot me t….[innocent bystander is shot by Obvious]
[All four philosophers are too busy ignoring Obvious to see what is going on around them]
I see screenplay writing in my future.